


These Nightmares Never Stop

by SkyflakesandGarlicBread



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Depression, Everything Hurts, F/M, Feels, I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I swear I'll add more tags, I'll probably update this when I have free time, I'm Bad At Tagging, Mentions of Suicide, Reader is a Winchester, Reader is depressed, Reader is sad, Sadness, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?, aUTHOR DOESNT KNOW HOW TO FUNCTION AND WRITE LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING, also wew rewatching the whole f uckign ser ies is fun, like really, swears
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-13
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-01 12:19:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5205656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyflakesandGarlicBread/pseuds/SkyflakesandGarlicBread
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was dark that night; John had heard the doorbell ring. In the midst of the night, he opened the door and saw nothing. He was about to close the door when he heard a cry.</p><p>It was then he saw a baby in a basket. He searched the basket for anything but, there was no note. The baby wailed and trashed around, frightened about the darkness that surrounded it but, who could blame it?</p><p>She was just a baby, oblivious to the dark things and demons that roamed around. She was far too innocent for this world so, that was why John came inside; carrying a sleeping baby that Mary was shocked about.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was dark that night; John had heard the doorbell ring. In the midst of the night, he opened the door and saw nothing. He was about to close the door when he heard a cry.

It was then he saw a baby in a basket. He searched the basket for anything but, there was no note. The baby wailed and trashed around, frightened about the darkness that surrounded it but, who could blame it?

She was just a baby, oblivious to the dark things and demons that roamed around. She was far too innocent for this world so, that was why John came inside; carrying a sleeping baby that Mary was shocked about.  
  
Shushed whispers and talking was heard. The young Winchester had woken up; thinking mom and dad were having a fight. He went downstairs to see Mary and John talking about something. John was carrying a baby Dean had never seen in his life.

“John, where’d you find her?” Mary asked a concerned tone in her voice.

John looked at her then said, “Someone left her in a basket, outside,” He paused for a while then continued. “What do you think should we name her?”

Mary and John racked up their brains, trying to find a suitable name. Dean finally spoke up, walking down the stairs. “How about we name her…. (Y/N)?”

John gasped, startled to hearing Dean’s voice. Mary just looked up and smiled.

“That’s a great name, Dean.”

Dean nodded, and walked over them. He sat between the two of the, smiling at her.

“Hello, (Y/N).” He said, barely above a whisper. He knew that in the back of his mind, all he thought about was protecting you and being a great brother.

 

Of course, things don’t always go your way.

 

Plans change. People don’t turn out how they wanted to be. Things fall apart.

(Y/N) grew apart from the family that raised her. After the death of Mary, old (Y/N) was gone. No more jokes in the morning, laughs in the afternoon, and no excitement every night. Then, learning about the things that went bump in the night, it was certainly a hard pill for her to swallow.

First, Mary died then, this? She was overwhelmed with all this that she locked herself in. The walls that she built never came down. On the outside, she was trying her best to not look weak; but, in the inside, she was dying inside.

At such a young age, she learned how to hide everything.

After all, that was what the so-called ‘family’ that she lived with did.

Lie to her.

She thought she was their real daughter. That she was related to them, blood to blood. She had that thought glued onto her mind. But then, Dean couldn’t keep his own mouth shut.

She learned about the family business.

John accidentally brought home a bloodied knife.

This led to her, asking. Terrified about the kind of man ‘Dad’ had become. He resulted to telling her everything. She was scarred. She was… She was…

Falling apart.

She was becoming empty. She had no real reason to live anymore.

Then, this was the part Dean was worried about his own sister.

He tried telling her about Dad’s disappearance. She was sleeping.

By now, Dean lost everything.

His mother.

His father.

His brother.

**His sister.**

His heart panged. He was there. He could’ve easily stopped her from being _obsessed_. His heart gnawed at him, guilt surrounding him. She was so close but yet, so far. He knew that she was caught up in the family business. _Too caught up for her own good_. She studied every monster, every detail, every weakness, and how to kill it. Every night, she would stay up, reading anything she could get her hands on.

Dean stopped seeing his sister.

The walls the she built became visible to him.

Dean was angry at her and, at the same time, himself.

The guilt that screamed inside him, it ate him alive. He couldn’t bear to watch her so, he told her about Sam, dad, everything.

(Y/N) was shocked at hearing that Sam went to college. After all, she was spending most of the nights inside her room, unable to sleep and studying the lore.

Dean asked her if she wanted to come with him. She nodded, wondering what Sam looked like now.

At first, she thought she was finally going to bond with them after locking herself in her room, studying the lore.

Of course, like I said, nothing goes as planned.

Sam seemed to be ignoring her. She also noticed Dean stopped looking at her. She noticed the stares they gave her. She noticed everything. Every time she asked something, cold and harsh voices would be returned. Arguments with Dean lasted longer than normal; Sam’s face was filled with disappointment and anger.

Really, nothing mattered when it came to her. The two brothers thought that she could handle things on her own.

It made everything worse.

She stopped talking.

She dived into the supernatural once more.

Dean realized what he’d done so; he drowned himself in alcohol and beer.

Sam was **_very_** oblivious to what was happening.

Then, Dean snapped.

They had a fight, Dean won; (Y/N) cried.

Dean blamed himself then, stopped caring about her.

He didn’t have any ties with her.

He sure as hell isn’t going to take the fall for her.

Gone. In an instant.

(Y/N) blamed herself for the distance and the tension between the family

Every day, she would torture herself. She went on hunts with them. She wanted to see her dad once more. She stopped to care. Who was going to clean up her own mess?

No one.

She tried screaming, praying for hope; anything.

No one ever noticed.

She was ashamed to use the name ‘Winchester’.

When was she never ashamed?

She thought then that her brothers were her heroes.

 She was wrong.

They were the one who brought her tears, pain, suffering, and regret.

She regretted to live.

She wished she could live a normal life.

She wished she could die.

Thoughts of suicide swirled around her mind.

She wanted to but…

Wouldn’t her brothers feel pain?

She tried killing herself but,

She was a coward.

She thought about Dean. Dean didn’t seem to care about her. She thought about Sam.

Sam was living the normal life she wanted. He got what he deserved. He got to be the special one. She was jealous of him.

Not in a bad way.

He has an interview, a girlfriend.

Sam was being brought back to hunting again. He woke up again. Seeing the world in its full colors, it was intense to him.

Sam has a pretty great life.

Sam was happy now. He thought everything was alright and perfect.

It was then he saw (Y/N) and Dean in his apartment. They talked about Dad and all. He saw **(Y/N)**.

The one he was forced to call sister.

He had nothing against her but, how dare she?

Sam heard it all.

Dean would leave voice mails about his life and all. But, there was one voice mail that he was shocked at.

_‘Hey, Sammy. I’ve got a great life now. I went back to the family business. I settled down with (Y/N). Remember her? She reads the lore now, sometimes helping me with cases. But, got any advice? She locked herself away and I can’t but feel guilty. She stopped laughing after the death of you-know-who. This guilt, it’s eating me alive. Every time I try to talk to her, she would ignore me. Please Sammy, call back as soon as you can.’_

He looked at her differently.

He knew what she’s been through. But, he didn’t understand the relationship of her and Mom. Mom acted like you were her own. Mom loved her; (Y/N) loved her too. Mom would always calm (Y/N) after her nightmares. He never knew what these nightmares were about. He also heard from Dean that she still has these nightmares. He couldn’t help but pity her.

 

But what did he had to do with her?

 

She was the (Y/N) that was empty inside.

 

The one who built the walls around her.

 

The one who lost care about everything.

 

She was the (Y/N) that cried herself to sleep.

 

She was the (Y/N) that woke up in the middle of the night, sweaty and teary-eyed.

 

She knew that she can’t escape this hell she calls life because **these nightmares never stop**.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Then, it clicked.
> 
> All her life, she was running away.
> 
> Time to be something useful, (Y/N).
> 
> She needed to stop being the coward that fairy tales depict.
> 
> She wanted to save her loved ones.
> 
> But, if she did, who’d save her?

(Y/N) woke up, sweaty and screaming. She was an eye-sore, panting and wheezing. Sweat licked at her skin while, some rolled off. She closed her eyes, refusing to be weak. She remembered how Mary would calm her every night. She couldn’t stop the few stray tears that escaped her eyes. She sat up, hugging her knees. She cried.

Every night, she had to deal with all these pain. She felt so numb that, she could feel time pass by.

These were the nights that she didn’t like.

These were the nights she felt _so_ lonely.

She tried to calm herself but, it only made things worse.

_If only you were the one who died._

_Who cares anyway? It’s not like anyone could miss you._

_You’re such a disgrace, both to the Winchester name and the family business._

_I can’t believe you’ve sunken so low, (Y/N)._

_I never loved you in the first place._

She heard these voices. Voices that sounded like everyone she loved.

 _Love_.

She gritted her teeth.

She felt a crushing sensation inside her chest.

_What is love?_

She never experienced how to be loved intimately.

She was always **that** girl.

She held her head in her hands. She grabbed her hair and pulled at it. She wanted to end everything.

She wanted everything to disappear.

_She wanted to disappear._

She wanted to run away from her problems.

Then, it clicked.

All her life, she was running away.

Time to be something useful, (Y/N).

She needed to stop being the coward that fairy tales depict.

She wanted to save her loved ones.

But, if she did, who’d save her?

Who’d lecture her on life? Who’d care for her and love her?

Most importantly,

Who’d understand her?

Silence was the only thing she heard. Her ragged breath was the only thing she heard. She closed her eyes in an attempt to stop the tears that was flowing.

She felt and heard a low rumble in her stomach. She decided that going to the kitchen would **_definitely_** be a great idea.

She cooked scrambled eggs and served them in a plate. She proceeded to make pancakes that Mary would make. It wasn’t perfect but, she tried. She sat there, silently. Eating the food she made was fun. She should do this more often. She was about to clean the plate she used when, Dean grumbled and walked through. She stood there, wide-eyed, dropping the plate as a result.

She felt tears brim the corners of her eyes. She ran pass Dean and closed the door.

In the corner of her eyes, she thought she saw something in Dean’s eyes.

She fumed at the thought, let alone the idea.

She didn’t need their pity.

She didn’t need the looks.

She already knew what she was.

A freak.

She paced around the room, composing herself. She reasoned with herself.

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

A slightly muffled voice came through.

“Hey, (Y/N? I cleaned up your mess. Whatever I did, I’m sorry.” Shuffling was heard and the sound of footsteps.

Like hell she was going to accept the half-assed apology the asshat she called ‘brother’.

She’d rather die.

The voice of Dean inside her mind still rang.

The headaches soon came. Black dots were covering her eyes. Soon, she dozed off, into a deep sleep.

 

 

The next day, she woke up; bright and early. Hot damn, when was the last time she had a peaceful sleep?

Not dwelling in it, she went out her room again. She scribbled a quick note and put it in the counter.

She went out to have breakfast in a diner. She stopped in front of a building.

_‘Amelia’s Diner’_

She went inside, ordering coffee and toast. She busied herself with the daily crossword in this particular day. She noticed that the waitress had come back. “Anything else, dear?”

She shook her head and said that ‘It was fine.’

The waitress gave her a smile before going back to work.

You saw how pure her eyes were. Like there wasn’t anything that had happened to her. She compared herself to the waitress and found out she looked like shit.

_What did you expect, being more successful than her? Damn, she lived a normal life. She’s obviously better._

She tensed. She bit the side of her mouth. She fidgeted in her seat. She sweated. She tucked her hair behind her ear.

She didn’t even notice that the food was already there. She ate the toast and drank the coffee. She put the money on the table, being sure to leave a tip.

She walked outside and headed to the motel they were staying in.

She saw the two brothers, like usual, doing their own things.

She sat down on the couch, nervous as fuck. She thought how horrible she looked. The big eye- bugs that surrounded her eyes, her mess of a hair, and the thrown clothes she wore. She stared at the wall for a good couple minutes before turning to the younger Winchester.

“I know where I saw this.” Sam blurted out. Dean just gave him an odd look. Sam struggled to find whatever he was trying to find. He got the paper he was drawing on and went to Dean.

“Dean, we need to go to back home. In Kansas.”

Dean’s sudden reaction was anger and argued with his brother.

“I have a feeling, Dean.”

In the end, Dean grumbled and gathered his things. (Y/N) went to the room she was staying in earlier and got the bag she was using.

She walked out of the door once more and into Dean’s Impala, or, ‘Baby’. She sat in the back while Dean sat in the driver’s seat and Sam sat in the passenger’s seat. She knew it was going to be a long time so, she shut her eyes. Her body soon following her movements. Her entire body shut down.

 

 (Y/N) woke up, (It was nighttime) once more and screamed. She wiped her sweat and cried. She tried to gather herself because she didn’t want to be seen as weak. Unfortunately, her scream didn’t go unnoticed.

“(Y/N)! It was just a dream, are you okay?!” Dean half-asked and half-screamed. She stared at Dean before wiping her tears off. She nodded shakily and turned away.

“Look, if there’s anything, talk to us.” Was that concern in Sam’s voice? She shook off these thoughts and nodded, again.

She thought of negative thoughts. She could laugh, really. Them, showing concern? Probably another bribe coming. Or, were they really showing concern for her. She’d become so numb she forgot how to be loved.

She forgot how it felt like.

She forgot to love.

With these thought in her mind, she couldn’t help but doze off to sleep again. She slept peacefully and would often trash in her seat. She was screaming their names.

Dean didn’t help but to feel pity for her.

For years, he thought she killed mom. For many years, he blamed his own sister. He made his own sister feel guilty.  He pushed her to the limit, to make her feel these feelings he has.

He was caught up into making and ignoring his sister that he forgot she had feelings, too.

Dean muttered profanities under his breath. He kept on mumbling, “It’s all my fault, it’s all my fault.” Over, and over again.

This action wasn’t unnoticed by (Y/N). She kept her eyes closed and forcing herself to sleep.

She had long coped with these nights because **these nights never seem to end.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was about to walk when something grabbed her foot.
> 
> She struggled from the grasp of this creature. She was shouting profanities and felt tears brim her eyes.
> 
> Her eyes darted to Sam who’d been captured just that moment.
> 
> She saw Dean run like a madman and saw two of his siblings in the grasp of a creature.
> 
> A figure in the fire showed herself and (Y/N) widened her eyes.

(Y/N) woke up, startled from the bumps in the road. Or was it the holes the government never bothered to fill? She shrugged it off as she sat up.

“Good mornin’, sleeping beauty.” Dean started, putting on a cocky smirk.

She glared at him before looking out the window. She observed how the people lived their lives.

_‘It must be great being normal.’_ She thought, tapping the glass lightly.

“Hey, don’t do that.” Dean said, glancing at her for a split second. She drew her hand back and muttering apologies. She continued to stare outside the window while the nightmare she had a while ago replayed in her mind. Most people would’ve forgotten their dreams after waking up but, (Y/N) was different. She closed her eyes and winced at the dream.

 

_Dean was angry-it was even an understatement-he thought about his decisions and felt **it.** He felt the guilt swallowing his conscience. He shouted at himself and grabbed his hair._

_“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” He averted his eyes to her and grabbed her by the collar. “You knew this was going to fucking happen! Shit, if you weren’t here, me and Sammy would be done with all this!”_

She opened her eyes again and gasped. She noticed that her hair _slightly_ floated because it _fucking flew_ and _she felt it go back down_. She felt sweat dripping from her forehead and made a frustrated look.

_No, no, no, not now! Fuck! If Sam and Dean found out about me, I would be fucking dead where I’d be standing._

She glanced at Dean and sighed in relief. He was too preoccupied with driving that he didn’t see her being Medusa or some shit.

She stared out the window with these thoughts swirling around her head. She saw raindrops falling from the window.

_It just rained, huh._

She observed how the raindrops fell.

“Hey, (Y/N), Sammy! We’re here.” Dean shouted. Unfortunately, since you were still staring out in the abyss, Dean shook you and said, “Sweetheart, we can continue this ‘case’ Sam has been saying after his nightmare if you could stop staring at whatever the hell!”

She snapped out of her thoughts and opened her door. She put out her foot and walked outside. She grabbed her bag and turned to them.

“Alright, this is our house. You can stay behind if you can’t take this, (Y/N).” Sam carefully said. She gave him a look and walked towards the house. She gave him a ‘come-on-slow-pokes’ face and the brothers reluctantly followed her.

**Knock. Knock. Knock.**

A blonde girl opened the door and smiled. “May I help you?” She asked, a questioning tone visible in her face and voice.

“Uh, yeah, actually. We lived here a couple of years ago and we’d like to see what happened to our old house.”

 

After meeting Missouri and putting something in each floors, (Y/N) had a really bad feeling and decided to stay with Jenny, much to Dean’s disapproval. She was sleeping when she heard screaming upstairs. She ran but, she remembered that there were kids in there.

She opened Sari’s room and saw some sort of a figure inside the fire. She quickly grabbed Sari and hurried to Ritchie. She got them both and ran downstairs.

“Look, I want you to run outside with your brother, alright?” She said, a bit surprised of hearing her own voice. Sari turned back and ran outside.

She was about to walk when something grabbed her foot.

She struggled from the grasp of this creature. She was shouting profanities and felt tears brim her eyes.

Her eyes darted to Sam who’d been captured just that moment.

She saw Dean run like a madman and saw two of his siblings in the grasp of a creature.

A figure in the fire showed herself and (Y/N) widened her eyes.

“Hey! Let go of my siblings!” Dean shouted, eyes seething with fire and voice hissing with venom.

“Dean, don’t! I see her now.” Sam said, his eyes showing familiarity. Instantly, the fire disappeared and instead took the figure of Mary.

(Y/N) felt tears running down her face and her voice was emitting quiet sobs. “M-mom?”

She turned to her children and smiled sweetly.

She acknowledges Dean and turned to the both of Sam and (Y/N) before saying, “I’m sorry.” She turned around, once again.

“And you, let go of my children!” Mary went up in flames, carrying the both of them down. She and Sam were released.

(Y/N) covered her face with her eyes and wept. Dean and Sam looked at each other with pity filling their eyes. It was the first time they saw their sister cry in years. They went outside to have a breather and waited for (Y/N).

Missouri explained to the two brothers what had happened and asked where was (Y/N). The two brothers gulped and swallowed nothing.

“She’s still inside. She needs time to process what happened back there.” Dean explained.

After a while, (Y/N) emerged out of the house. She had a straight face and acted like nothing happened. She passed the boys and ignored their smiles and pity in the eyes.

Sam looked at the eyes of (Y/N) and saw nothing. She was lifeless and cold. Her eyes were empty. No hope, life, no nothing. Her lips were in a thin line and refused to become a frown. Her movements were tense.

She carried the world on her own shoulders and just by seeing her mother, that weight doubled. Her eye-bugs made her look like a panda and her hair was a mess.

The rest of the ride was really awkward and silent.

No one dared to speak or even make a whisper because they were afraid the slightest noise would shatter the silence like glass. Unfortunately, Dean didn’t have that in his mind.

“So, how’s life?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! im so sorry for the short chapter :(((
> 
> I'd also like to tell you that I cant update for a few days bc of family problems. 
> 
> Hope you understand :^)
> 
> (P.S. i promise ill make the next chapter a longer)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean wouldn’t kill him and you know why. Dean and Sam wouldn’t even have second thoughts. They’d kill you if they had a reason. You’re just a baggage full of uselessness and they want you to disappear.

Hearing that sentence angered (Y/N) immediately; because one, he didn’t have the right to care for you and two, how dare he ask that to her after the whole family just screwed her over?

While she was having an internal battle with herself, Sam glared at Dean and was about to say something. Dean pulled over and was ready for the argument Sam was going to start (technically he started).

“De-“

“How dare you, Dean Winchester?! I’ve been living in pain, suffering, and pain,” She had to pause to wipe the tears running down her face.

Sam flinched at her voice and Dean was shocked at hearing her voice. Also, (Y/N, standing up to her own brothers?

Who could’ve thought?

She was the black sheep in the family. She was a bump of the road.

“I always thought that I killed mom! If she hadn’t come to my room that night, I probably wouldn’t be here!” Her voice cracked and her eyes doubled the waterworks. “Every misfortune would always be blamed to me, like always!”

“Look, (Y/N), I’m so-“

“No Dean, you don’t get to apologize to me. I-I,” She hesitated to talk and gathered her things. “You two are the reason as to why I’m like this.”

“No, (Y-“

“Those pitiful looks and the concern you’re showing? I don’t need any of them,” She paused and looked at Dean straight in the eye. “If all I get is shit from this family then I sure as hell will be leaving.” She opened the door and walked away.

“(Y/N)! Wait! Please, come back! We’re so sorry!”   

She held back the tears and closed her eyes. The two brothers were waiting. They kept waiting for her to turn around and say ‘ _Nah guys, it was just a joke_ ’ and laugh it all off. But, of course, it never came.

Dean felt his sins crawling on his back and Sam felt like a lost puppy.

Dean ran after her while Sam was shouting ‘leave her alone’ or something along the line of that.

“(Y/N), please, let me explain.” He grabbed her shoulders and turned her. He was expecting a snarky remark from her but, all he saw was his broken sister.

 ____________________________________________________________________

The oh-so ‘wall’ she had?

It completely broke down.

It hurt him completely to see his sister like this. That, he will never admit. It was the only thing the family shared in common, actually.

_Secrets._

I mean, yeah, the normal human being had secrets but, these secrets they had?

It was keeping their family apart.

 _______________________________________________________________________

She was unresponsive with her brothers. They’ve found a new case about a man who committed ‘suicide’ or so what the police said.

“Why’re we even here?” Dean asked. “I mean, the man committed suicide, why would bother?”

Dean looked at his brother with a quizzical look.

“Dean, I saw that man in my dream,” Sam explained. “I mean, there’s got to be more to it.”

Dean closed his eyes and sighed.

“Fine,”

 _________________________________________________________________

She looked outside the car as Dean and Sam knocked on the door of the deceased person’s family. She sighed and thought to herself. She was killing herself and she knew it.

_You can’t keep doing this, (Y/N)._  
  
Watch me.

_They’ll find out eventually and when they do-_

Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!

_You can’t keep hiding._

You can’t control me!

_Watch me._

She gritted her teeth as her bag flew and hit the seat with a loud thud. She fiddled with her fingers and sweated.

_What if they knew, (Y/N)? What would happen?_

Her eyes widened at the thought of that.

_Would they kill you because you’re one of the children of that **thing?**_

No! Sam is also like me!

_Dean wouldn’t kill him and you know why. Dean and Sam wouldn’t even have second thoughts. They’d kill you if they had a reason. You’re just a baggage full of uselessness and they want you to disappear._

Before she could make things worse, Dean and Sam came back. She sighed in relief and relaxed herself.

Dean explained what happened and she just nodded.

They soon drove off to a motel and stayed there.

_____________________________________________________________________________

“Ugh,” Sam groaned.

“Hey, Sam,” Dean said as he walked to him. “You alright?”

“Y-yeah,” Sam choked out. “W-wait! I see something! The uncle!”

(Y/N) ears perked up and glanced at the brothers.

“I see him,” Sam said, a horrified look on his face. “ _Oh_ , oh no! Dean, we need to go to his apartment!”

“Wh-?”

“Trust me on this, Dean.”

At that moment, (Y/N) was seeing the same thing Sam saw.

_Shitshitshit._

Dean and Sam raced to the car and (Y/N) followed close behind. They strapped themselves in and drove to the apartment. Sam was saying the visions he saw while (Y/N) was sweating bullets.

_Look, Dean trusts Sam. Isn’t that a surprise?_

Be quiet!

_You can’t suppress me, (Y/N). I’m the living embodiment of your soul._

I don’t care, just get out!

_I can’t. No matter how hard you try, I can’t._

She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing. Dean was blindly following Sam while their step sister was having an episode. It seemed that Dean and Sam were too preoccupied to pay close attention what was happening in the back.

She was hyperventilating and a mess. Pathetic, really.

_Give up, (Y/N)._

No.

_You know you want to._

I don’t.

_Haha, what a lie._

Why you li-

_Oh well, goodbye._

Wait-!

Silence.

All she heard was silence. She was searching for the very voice that taunted her, put her down, and strangled her from reality.

She didn’t know why she was searching for it but, the silence was deafening.

When they got to the uncle’s apartment, (Y/N) stayed behind and the brothers ran to the uncle. They tried reasoning with him but he wouldn’t listen. Dean was annoyed and Sam was irritated. They hurried to a staircase they found and ran.

(Y/N) waited for them to return as she zoned out again. After a while, they returned and Dean started the engine.

She could feel the tension around them. It was so thick you probably could cut it with a knife. Dean was awfully quiet. Sam was obviously scared shitless.

(Y/n), of course, stayed silent. She shifted around uncomfortably and avoiding their gazes. She thought of a way to get out of the greatest clusterfuck she had ever gotten herself into. She put down her head down, nodding off to sleep.

Dean started to notice the actions (Y/N) was making in the backseat of the car. He raised his eyebrow at this and felt a painful tug at his heart.

Well, not literally but you get the idea.

He drove back with nervousness right beside him.

_What would he do if his prints were found at the scene of the murder? If he did, who’d help Sam find dad? Who’d provide for Sam? More importantly, what about (Y/N)? Who’d help her get through the grievance of their mother?_

_If he was to get caught, would (Y/N) spiral back into obsessing over the so-called ‘monsters’?_

These thoughts were swirling around his head. Sure, he did some critical mistakes that would need more than a simple ‘sorry’ to fix but, this was more. He was hanging at the thread of luck and he knew that sooner or later, that that thread would soon break.

Talking about Sam was actually much more complicated than what you’d think. The man’s course was Law, what else could be said he wanted to be an aspiring lawyer but, that soon got crushed over by Dean dragging him straight back to where he started.

  _Hunting._

Because of all the shitty turn of events, he lost everything he worked for and threw it all away. He wanted to take a break but he knew he couldn’t. As soon as he’d ask Dean for something he knew Dean wouldn’t listen.

Dean had some kind of a ‘hero complex’ that he was a bit jealous of. Alright, maybe a whole lot more than ‘bit’.

Needless to say, Sam hated Dean. He hated that Dad favored Dean more than him. Dean would always be the perfect one in the whole family. He knew that and it was never going to change.

______________________________________________________________                                                                             

Sam had another one of his episodes. This one was about the kid he met in the victim’s house. He believed his name was Max. He saw Max about to murder his mother.

He opened his eyes and told everything to Dean. They called (Y/N) and drove to the Miller’s house. They went in as Max was about to kill his mother. They were about to reason with him when (Y/N) saw what’ll happen. She told Dean that she’ll talk to Max and Dean refused. She stepped on his foot and walked to a room with Max.

Sam waited outside as (Y/N) was conversing with Max.

“Look, Max you don’t want to do this.” She said, trying to calm herself.

“No! You don’t know what it’s like, to be like this!”

She put a cold hard gaze at him and floated a pillow up in the air.]

“See? We’re pretty much alike. I know exactly what you feel. That you need to hide your powers because people would call you a ‘freak’,” She closed her eyes and carefully placed her hand to his shoulder.

“Say, Max, when did all this started to you, anyway?” She asked, curiosity getting the better of her.

Max looked at her and sighed. “About five to six months ago.”

(Y/N)’s ears perked up at this. “Really?! Mine too!” She said at him and continued to reason with him why he shouldn’t do this.

After a few minutes, he got angry and (Y/N) soon found herself locked up in the closet with Sam. She started to have visions about Dean getting shot and pushed the cabinet with Sam. They rushed to the room to see Max about to shoot Dean.

After broken bonds and secrets, Max shot himself right in front of the four.

Soon after that, police arrived and they lied to the police. Almost an hour later of interrogation, they finally got free.

(Y/N) was feeling tired and so as soon as they got to the car, (Y/N) slept instantly. She snored loudly that it rivaled one of a lion’s roar.

Dean chuckled and Sam smiled.

They knew this moment of peace wouldn’t last.

But they still needed to make the best of it, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> omg im so sorry for neglecting to update but everythings sorted out !1!11!!! :)))))
> 
> also, happy holidays, everyone!!!11!111 :DDDDDDd


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